Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Art, the Meditation Egg, and the Letting Go Weekend

A few weeks ago I went to a weekend-long seminar called "The Letting Go Weekend" in upstate New York with my brother. I did not have any idea about what to expect, and quite frankly, wasn't sure I wanted to spill out my inner fears with a bunch of total strangers. But, he had been to a previous seminar and found it really healing and revealing, so I gave it a try.

Sketch of my Meditation Egg journal notes

I arrived on a Friday night after a loooong Amtrak ride. I did a lot of writing in my journal, a little sketching (in public...not an easy thing for me to do) and a lot of listening to music on the way.

The retreat was held in an old nunnery, and I didn't even have any of that old knee-jerk reaction about feeling dirty or shamed or guilty.

This is where the seminar was held.
Over the three days of the seminar (Friday night, all day Saturday and all day Sunday) I did manage to have a lot of insight, and even though there are five years between us, and some other siblings before, after, and between us, there were a lot of shared memories to explore and validate. And the other people were interesting and supportive and not at all scary. I took a lot of notes and did a lot of sketches and doodles as I listened and explored and interacted.

Here's me, walking the meditation circle high on a hill in my hometown...
a perfect ending to a weekend of introspection.
One noticeable difference after the Letting Go Weekend is that I feel less compelled to make art, less driven, less frantic. It is probably a good thing, and means that I released some anger that had been pent up for years. I know that anger is often a driving force that makes me want to paint, draw and create. I am sure I will still make plenty of art, but it will probably be different. I will just have to wait and see, won't I?


sonja said...

letting go of the un necessary is good
though the process could feel scary
I look forward to your next art session
as we do evolves over time it seams
where you walked recently looks so open and airy!
aloha, sonja

Dotti said...

Very profound. I never looked at making (of whatever) as being rooted in anger. For me, an only child being raised in 3rd world countries without the influence of radio and tv, art was my entertainment; a joyful interlude between family experiences, life experiencesm, school, and other sundry obligations.